Wednesday, 4 April 2007

Am I Stupid?...


Sigh...

I witnessed a row today...Had just had lunch and finished class when it happened...

There I was happily chatting with a friend in one of the rooms when in walks this guy whom I shall refer to as A...I've seen A around quite a lot...Don't know him very well, but I always had been given this impression that A was a respectable man, who carried himself very well...

Anyway, A comes stomping in (literally). I looked up and was about to give him a smile when I realised he was in a towering temper. He looked past me and my friend, and pointed at my other friend who was sitting behind me, and said "You!"...

"This is my project. You f***ing b****, keep your nasty little paws off it"...He was fuming, and his tirade was clearly just beginning: "I call the shots, not you, so don't you dare approve the change of venue without consulting me!"...

I was shocked...The 'venue', by the way, refers to a change from the room on the left, to the one directly beside it, which is the one on the right...

I was shocked that any 'gentle'man could yell at a lady in public like that...And what was even more shocking was the fact that A runs some teambuilding company, or something to that effect...

Team-Building; Something which teaches people to believe that there is never an 'I' in anything, but that we always work as a 'we'...Something which preaches that there is strength in numbers, and that we must remember that no man is an island...

And we have A screaming that this is "my project...I call the shots..."

What happened to the 'we'? What happened to working as a team? What happened to strength in numbers? What happened to that nice smile and even sweeter voice? What happened to the 'let's build a better place...let's learn to work with one another; forget the differences, build on the strengths'?

What happened to all that crap? Because from where I am standing now, it sure sounds like crap...Complete and utter rubbish.

I used to believe that all these people should be looked up to...That we should learn from them as they have understood and seen things which we seem to have missed...

I have gone for quite a lot of these team-building, characted-building, schmel-schmelding (some willingly, some because I was led by the ear) and I used to think, that 'hey, I have lots to learn from these people'...But when I see them in their personal lives, I always end up thinking, 'I looked up to them'?

And you know what? I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed and hurt that I am such a believer in people...I feel betrayed that I am always looking at the goodness in people, at the traits that make people special...I feel betrayed that I have so much hope that people are kind...I feel betrayed that I am such a sucker that there is hope for the future, and that inherently, people will always let their human side win...I feel betrayed that I have so much faith...

Because it's beginning to look more and more like shit...

How can a 'team-builder' be so wonderfully 'team-building' and so full of concern during a camp, and turn into complete opposites after? We're talking about differences in one day...Today, nice; tomorrow, horrible...

And yet, I desparately try and believe that people seriously want to make this world a better place...I desparately try and believe that people do care and are concerned...

Sometimes, I do wonder...Why bother? Why bother at all? I'm just going to become disillusioned, and lose all hope...

I guess the adage: 'Those who teach, can't do' is true...It's very, very true...

Am I stupid in wanting to believe in the goodness of people? Am I stupid in wanting to believe that there is hope in humankind? Am I stupid in believing that those who come up with schmel-schmelding concepts want to make the world a better place, and not to satisfy their insatiable greed for money, power and a 'good face'?

I guess I am...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Daphne Dear,
You are not stupid, although I agree there are many hypocrites in this world and Malaysia is one of them. You see the wordl with so much love and good heart and I admire you for that. Don't give up hope becuase we need them to survive in this world. Take care.
Pak Cik Hisham

Anonymous said...

Dear Daphne,

I know ! You feel BETRAYED.
Some whom you looked upon as a TEAMBUILDER has shown himself in a moment of weakness. But's that human nature actually. Humans have their moments of weakness. That is why we all need a Higher Power. Keep the faith my friend. Humans still need each other to build each other up with the Higher Power's help and intervention.

Sanjaya

Anonymous said...

Biasalah. This people who do all this work hypocrites one what. I also go for all this camps what.

zewt said...

dont put all your trust and beliefs in humans... they always fail.

anyway, to be fair to your friend... perhaps he felt betrayed too? anyone and everyone will make mistakes... even A, and becos we are humans, we are driven my emotions... i can tell he was pretty charged up that day...

did you find out what exactly happened in the end?

Lena A Giles said...

You know what? Everybody would hurt or betrayed you at some point. That's human nature. All you can do is move on and don't look back. Most importantly is that always keep your conscience clear and that when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, you like the person looking back. You keep it real...
There are still good people put there, girl...don't lose your hope yet...remember, keep it real..

p/s: Thanks for your help on Siti Aisyah. You are allrite in my book.

Anonymous said...

Daphne,
There is one thing i learned, which is, at times, you'll have to put your faith and trust in policies than people.

You have heart of gold, which is rare in the world we live in today. The minitories tend to be misunderstood.

Cheers. :)