Monday, 21 May 2007

May You Eternally Rest in Peace, Chee Keong Dear...




CHUA CHEE KEONG
17th August 2004 - 20th May 2007


I need a hug...

As I write this, I am a complete wreck...

Yesterday morning, at 8 am (Malaysian Time), I lost someone very dear to me. Someone so very dear, that it felt like a part of me had died too...

That someone is a little boy by the name of Chua Chee Keong...



The first day I saw him...


When I first met Chee Keong, he was at death's door. Looking at him, my heart sank, and in all honesty, I thought he would be gone in a matter of days. Here was a boy who, at that time, was 16 months old, and weighed a mere and shocking 4 kg's. He was a literal bag of bones. He could barely breathe properly...His breaths came in heaves, and he struggled with every tiny little breathe...His chest was trembling, and it sounded like he was gasping just to take in the air we take so much for granted...


His little nose was clogged with the thickest and yellowest mucus, and with every little cry he gave, the mucus would come out thick and gooey...And he was so desperately weak, even his cries could not be heard...He could not even open his eyes...


Chee Keong had severe pneumonia, and had spent the past week in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit...Besides that, he was born with Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy (SQCP), and had Chromosomal Abnormalities of unknown origin...

And it was because of all this (and poverty) that led to Chee Keong being abandoned by his parents...

All I did that day was lay my hands on his skin-and-bones chest, and prayed...His entire chest and tummy was the size of my palm...

Honestly, I was afraid...Afraid to pick him up and hold him...Afraid that it would hurt him...

At that time, I thought this would be just another child I would meet...Little did I know he would become the most important thing to me, after my family...



Chee Keong, two weeks after I met him...



Thus began my daily routine...I went into the hospital every morning at around 8 am, to feed, clean and talk to Chee Keong...




Picking him up...



With the help of Pediatric Physiotherapist, Pn Yasmin, I learned to pick him up; to bathe him in the tub; to cuddle him; to help exercise and massage his very stiff joints; to help stimulate his senses; to bring him back to life...

From going in at 8 am, I soon found myself going in at 7 am...I made it my mission to nurse this child back to health, and to give him back a little bit of his childhood...

Every morning, from Monday to Saturday, I would be there...Sunday too, some times...The nurses who initially didn't pay much attention to me soon started introducing themselves by name, and were gamely chatting...I was beginning to become a part of them, a staff...just unpaid and not obliged to be there...



Chee Keong, about two months after I met him...



Soon, the little tyke began to blossom...One of the greatest moments was when he 'called' me one morning...It wasn't very loud, but it was firm: "Ooooo" he said when I called his name. I felt like a proud mother, whose baby had learned to speak...

For anyone else, it might have been trivial...But to me, it meant the world...After a month plus of being with him, my dear Chee Keong was responding to me for the first time...



Falling asleep...



And very soon after, he began to eat...I remember the doctor asking me: "You ready to try feeding him by mouth?"...

I nodded...


And so it began...First it was just milk (I had never mixed baby milk on my own!), and then it was nestum...And then my mum decided to sponsor Chee Keong with Baby Gerber products...Bottled (and very expensive...Sheesh...Babies nowadays have such a good lfie...) fruits, yoghurt, pudding...We were soon shopping for pureed (specially for babies) apples, bananas, apricot, pears, carrots, sweet potatoes, oranges, strawberries...

Even I didn't get this kind of treatment as a baby! Not that I'm complaining...I had a mother and father who wanted me!


Chee Keong was a smart boy...He prefered the bottled products, and didn't want the ones I mashed by hand...And he doesn't drink water (He'd 'spray' my face if I attempted to feed him water), so my mum sponsored him vitagen and fruit juice next, in attempts to get him drinking! But no sir, he would not drink 'sour' juices...Only the sweet ones!

And sometimes, we would boil porridge with minced chicken...Dear Chee Keong refused point-blank the hospital version, and the doctors and nurses gave up trying to ahem, negotiate with him...So I cooked them myself for him...Mum did, at least...


The nurses and doctors on the other hand, would buy little biscuits for him in attempts to teach him to eat solid food...His table always had mini Chipsmore or mini Tiger-biscuits, and our dear Chee Keong only ate these two! We also gave him little bits of chocolate in attempts to mask the taste of his medication...

Guess what? He learnt to keep the chocolate on his tongue, and spit out the medication...And then, he decided he would only eat Cadbury chocolate...Nothing else would pacify him...



Protesting against photography with stupid face...



My mum and dad were treating him like the little grandchild they can't wait to have...Buying clothes (I think altogether, they bought him almost 20 pairs of matching suits, and socks), toys, feeding paraphernalia, bottles, diapers, pillows...

We even had friends chip in with matching pillow+bolster set with blankets...Toys, food and diapers too...

He started with only the torn clothes on his back, and ended up as the best-dressed baby in the ward...

And then one day, a bunch of friends chipped in and bought him an RM 700 Ripple Mattress that helped prevent bed-sores from forming! The only child in the entire ward to have one...

My dear boy could not roll over or even hold his head up for long...He could not sit, he could not stand...And he was now about 20 months old...




Stupid Boy a.k.a Old Man a.k.a Snowman...


In short, he was KING...We all called him Anak Raja among ourselves, and also often refered to him as Old Man, because of his 'elderly' look...But he was my Stupid Boy...I could not help it...He had a classic stupid look =)...




The head pediatric specialist of the ward, Dr Sheila herself refered to Chee Keong as 'Snowman'...And I would never forget what she said till today: "My dear Chee Keong, I dread the day I have to send you away from my ward"...

But I was adamant that I would meet the goal set for him to put on weight...Thus, began also his twice-weekly weighing...I took every little spike-up as a personal triumph, and every dip as a challenge...But with his medical condition, it became apparent that a 0.01 kg increase in weight was a victory in it's own right...




Chee Keong learning to play with his tongue and saliva after about 3 months I was with him (At this time, he was around 19 months old)...


My darling was also a champion sleeper...He could sleep through anything...Literally...I could be bathing him, and he would be fast asleep...He would be on his front during physiotherapy (in efforts to help him learn to lift his body with his hands), and he could doze off...
I also learnt that dear Chee Keong could swallow his nestum, asleep...Yes, he will snore (Another reason why we call him old man!) with his mouth open, and I coulp pop the nestum into his open orifice, and he'll gulp it and continue to snore again...Like nothing transpired...
His 'sleeping' problem was due to a problem in his brain...



Perhaps the worst thing my dear boy had to go through was his daily suctioning...Because of his SQCP, Chee Keong had a constant secretion problem...And because of SQCP too, Chee Keong's body was unable to expel and/or swallow the thick mucus and phlegm, and it had to be manually 'removed' daily...The only way to do that would be to insert a suction catheter into his nasal and oral orifice to force the thick secretion...


Can you imagine how horrible it is? My dear boy would cry incessantly every time it was done, and he was often left breathless and panting, or if he happened to be down with the flu, he was known to 'pass out' after the suctioning...Thank God Pn Yasmin was patient and would often whisper lovingly to him every time she had to force the secretion out...





Sleeping...Again...



In short also, I had learned to love this boy as my own...He was my baby...I could not care less if I fell sick when I was with him (I often did because he often did)...I could not care less that there were many times where he threw up all over me, and I ended up smelling of mashed bananas and regurgitated milk...I couldn't care less that he stank very badly at times...I couldn't care less about anything, as long as he was well and he was cared for...




Learning to sit up, propped...





I loved that boy with all my heart...
And letting him go when they found him a home for the handicapped was among the worst thing I could ever do...My best friend Yean Mei and I were devastated...Yean Mei only appeared in Chee Keong's life about 5 months after I first started being his 'foster mother'...And even she was devastated...
We spent days washing, labelling and packing his belongings...He finally left the hospital on the 29th of June 2006, with three huge boxes of his stuff, and enough diapers to last him a year, courtesy of the hat that we passed around...


Chee Keong left the hospital weighing 5.665 kg's...It had been six months of patient feeding (because he was such a champion sleeper, feeding could take up to over an hour!), and yet, he only managed to put on 1.665 kg's...But to me, it was a victory nonetheless...


I cried for days, weeks even...And all the nurses were hugging and crying with me...It was a lost we all felt...


I had become so close to him that the state welfare officer in charge of taking him out of state offered me a place in the car, and Yean Mei too...


Really, what did you expect? I was there with him when he was at death's door...I was there when fear overwhelmed me...I was there when he could not move. when he could not even open his eyes, when he was sick and vomiting and purging and breathless...I held him for hours when he spiked a fever and needed someone to cuddle to...Sometimes into the night, and in the wee hours of the morning...I held him even when I was down with a fever he had given me...


And I saw him blossom...I saw him grow...I saw his first smile, his first laugh, his first coo...
I was his mummy in many senses of the word...And he was my baby boy...




This was how my little boy looked the day before he left...A far cry from the time I first met him...



***


Until today, I talk about him to people I meet...Until today, I keep his pictures and one suit of his clothing in a box...Until today, he is my phone's screensaver...Until today, I have his voice stored in my phone...

And whenever I passed the area where his home was, I'd sweet-talk my dad into making the 30+ km detour just so I can hold him for a few minutes...


And yesterday, I got news that he had passed away from complications that had arisen from measles...

He was admitted to hospital the night before (19th May) and the home was planning to call me in the morning to inform me he had been admitted, which was something I had requested when I last said goodbye...But they got the news that dear Chee Keong had passed on at 8 am itself...

***

I was at MarinaM's house when I got the news...I tried as much as I could to stop the tears, but it was an avalanche...I was a wreck...

I sobbed all over her place, and till now, as I write this, I feel so guilty for spoiling the entire family's breakfast...and morning...

But she was gracious when I apologised: "Daphne, the only thing reliable about bad timing is that it is unreliable"...

All I wanted at that time was for the world to just swallow me up for a while...

All I wanted at that time was a hug...I desperately wanted and needed a hug...

I desperately needed my mummy, and she was in a car about 100 km's away, on the way to pick me up...



***


On the way back home, my dad drove for the last time to the hospital that he had been warded in frequently after he left Ipoh...This time, it was not a bed that we were headed for, but the cold heartless building no one ever wants to step into: The mortuary...


I saw my darling for the last time yesterday at 4 pm...He was wrapped in a white cloth, and I got to touch him one last time...


He was indeed, finally, the "Snowman" Dr Sheila had called him...White as he always was, but this time, he was cold...


And for the first time ever, he was at peace...I have never seen him so peaceful ever...When he was alive, even in sleep, he was either snoring or gasping for air...


For the first time yesterday, I knew that my darling had gone to a better place...I know that he was finally at peace...


I 'had' a baby at the age of 19...And I lost him at the age of 21...



This was him, during his classic marathon-sleeps...



Dear Chee Keong,
I hope you know how much we all love you...How much I love you...And I pray that you will eternally rest in peace...
It's your turn to watch over us now...To watch over me...
And I know you will, wherever you are...
Till we meet again, my darling...


***


To everyone else who has been following this story, I thank you...And please pray for him...


I need a hug...


Can anyone give me one?...

66 comments:

amir said...

The futility of mankind's struggle. The world does not want to be saved.

Get a drink.

Cheers.

Fusion16 said...

Condolences, Daphne..
May Chee Keong rest in peace...

Pi Bani said...

Daphne, heard about Chee Keong when I met MarinaM yesterday. I know how much the little boy means to you. Please be strong. There are other people out there who needs you!

Here, come I give BIG HUG!!

walkthrulife said...

A BIG HUG FOR YOU FOR BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON.

Condolences goes to you and your family.

I am glad that Chee Keong get all the love and attention he deserves from you.

It is sad...

Raden Galoh said...

ohhhhh Dearest daphne... I'm crying as I write this comment...It's so heart-wrenching! Let me give you one big sisterly hug (auntily...is there such term)... Be strong... Maybe it's the best to end the pain and the sorrow in Chee Keong's heart this way...He is God's hand now... a place where he will comfortably be taken cared of...

J.T. said...

Oh Daphne, as much as I felt your sorrow yesterday when we had our chat on line, after reading this, I am moved to tears. I feel more deeply about it now. What a special little boy. You were definitely his mummy during his short time on earth. *Big hug for you.*
I agree with Raden, Chee Keong suffers no more. He sits comfortably in the arms of God.

Daily Nibbler said...

You have a golden heart. God must have a better plan for Chee Keong and decided that the best place for him is to be His side.

My deepest condolences.

U.Lee said...

Hi Daphne, "What though the radiance which was once so bright,
be now forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour, of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flowers:
We will grieve not,
Rather find,
Strength in what remains behind".
I share with you your grieve Daphne. UL.

elviza said...

Dearest Daphne

*Hugs Hugs Hugs*

I am sorry for your lost. Trust me, your compassion had made all the difference for him

Take care Sis

atif slim said...

hey, it's been ages; terjumpa ur blog. sorry to hear about chee keong. what you've done for him was great, he looks much much better after u took care of him, and am sure he's in an even happier place now, God willing =) hang in there. digital hugs from me.

Anonymous said...

Dear Daphne,
Firstly here is a big hug for you. This hug I hope will make you feel better. I also hope to say thank you to you for being such a special person to have walked this earth through my hug. There wont be another person who would do what you did for Chee Keong, and love him the way you love him. You are indeed sent from God to be his angel on earth. Now he is yours. I am sure he watches over you now. I hope you find comfort in all this words from your readers. Thank you for sharing with us.

ruby ahmad said...

Dear Daphne,

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You must be heartbroken and that must be an understatement. I can never understand how a girl as young as you have such a high awareness and such compassion without the normal jazz associated with such work (political and public connotations). Yours is straight from the heart. It is refreshing and encouraging. Keep it up.

MarinaM said...

Dearest Daph, yes you did give me a big shock the other morning. I thought you were homesick, or had a bad night (after the bloggers dinner) or worse of all, that something had happened to your parents.Hearing about Chee Keong was no better, because I did know how much you had cared for you. And no, you didn't spoil our breakfast.

The timing may have been off for you but God knows best why He chose that time for Chee Keong.And I bet anything Chee Keong always knew who his Mummy Daphne was and how much she loves him. And I'm sure Snowman's smiling to himself right now because he knew how lucky he was to have you.

If I know you, there will be other Chee Keongs. None will quite replace this one, your 'first baby' but you have so much love to give that I'm sure some other lucky child will soon be able to enjoy that too. Don't hold back out of loyalty to Snowman. Am sure that is what he would want too. That's how he lives on, through you.

Big hugs from Aunty M, Uncle T and ShaSha in KL.

MarinaM said...

Sorry, that should have been 'how much you had cared for him'.

May said...

Do hang in there...

*HUGS*

mott said...

As a mother, this breaks my heart.

I know God only takes the best. So..rest in peace, Chee Keong. My deepest deepest condolences, Daphne. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Tham JK said...

Dear daphne,
A big hug to you for your kindness, compassion, kind heart and sweet soul. Anohter big hug to you for being such a great mom becuase we can all see how much progress there was when chee keong was under your care. You are truly a very extraordinary person who deserves all the hugs in the world. I like what Marinam said 'That's how he lives on, through you'. Im am very amazed. You are only 21, and yet, you have loved a child and had to even grieve for his death, which is something that no one should ever have to go through. A big hug to help keep you strong.
Tham JK

WMD said...

You have been so wonderful to Chee Keong. Hugs. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

May Chee Keong rest in peace and rest assured that he is in good hands now.

ShannonC. said...

HUGZZZ

may chee keong's soul rest in peace, with God by his side, where he will be able to walk and run and eat all by himself... Where he'll have so much fun laughing at God's jokes and where he has all the love he'll get...

I hope you'll feel better soon, big big huge hugss, and i know it still hurts, but treat this as his way out of the suffering he had endured in his short 3 years of life... God WILL take care of him, from this point onwards...

nstman said...

You know what, tears welled in my ears before I could finish reading this emotional piece. Rest in peace, Chee Keong. You are free, you are leaving a cruel world, you are now in god's hands.

nadia said...

Our deepest condolences to you. May Snowman rest in peace. *hugs*

the Razzler said...

Dear Daphne ..

I am deeply moved by your unselfish love & compassion at such a tender age. Your parents are so blessed to have you as their daughter and you are indeed the Angel with a heart of gold.

Chee Keong is so lucky to have your love & tender care. You have brought him joy that many other children may not even have.

Be strong, Daphne!! for there are many others like Chee Keong who are in need of the kind & loving tender care that only you can give!!

I am sure Chee Keong's soul will rest in peace .. & he will be watching over his Dear Mummy Daphne as well.

I am so very proud of you!!
*Hugs* *Hugs*

Anonymous said...

You are so young and so caring. I pray that deaths won’t harden you. Just the other day, I was pondering why man even bothers to continue living when he will die eventually. The answer I reasoned was not dramatic…many just simply do not know they will die someday. If I am to die tomorrow, the best gift for me would be the same kind of memories, faith, hope, love and kindness you have shown to Chee Keong. And perhaps in reincarnation, I will be borne a better person with a heart to share like you. It was not a lost…don’t cry. v9

Daphne Ling said...

Dear everyone,

Thank you so much for the kind words of support, and for the many hugs *Hugs back* sent through cyberspace and email...

Although I know I will grieve his death for a long time, it sure helped to be able to just vent all the frustration and hurt...

And it was great to know that there were people who were sweet enough to hug back when I needed a hug...

Thank you for sharing in Chee Keong's story...I think it is very important that we remember his story, because dear Chee Keong symbolises the many children who face a sick life, with no real future every single day...

In fact, I believe the best thing his parents did for him was to give him up, as they were ensuring he received the medical care he needed, when he needed...In their state of poverty, they were in no position to care for him...

And really, it was a blessing for me because I got to share in the life of such a special little boy...

I will probably update the readers of StarMag this Sunday (or next) about Chee Keong's passing in the letters section. Like the editor said, it would provide some form of closure to the many people who asked about Chee Keong when his story first came out (he is known as Adam in the public's eye)...

Watch out for it, will you?

As for now, I have to move on...But like MarinaM said, I will forever remember Chee Keong as my 'first baby'...

And he will live on in all of us who remember him...

*Hugs*,
Daph

PS: Due to legal matters, Chee Keong cannot be known as Chee Keong in the newspapers. He will be refered to as Adam, a name the nurses christened him with...

jimi said...

This is not another sad story. But somehow, it didnt match all the pain he had to endure. Thank you, Daph for everything that is genuinely honest and kindness heart that you have.

mob1900 said...

You have given Snowman the best 3 years in his short visit to this world and if I were Snowman, I would not have it any other way.

*Hugs

aemi said...

Hey nai..

Huggie wuggie..

Do you think he would like to have a bage bage? He's so huggable..

Besides all the chee cheong fun that I'm trying to stuff him with.. haha..

Maybe he'll see me and wei chieh's fishies.. Bart and Becky.. they died quite some time ago.. lack of oxygen.. don't ask me how.. but i'm not keeping anymore fishies :'(

Hmm..

Actually.. you also know I've run out of words..

And like I said.. my main concern is more of you now..

But like I told you yesterday.. I'll always remember the way he felt on my arms the first time I carried him..

And the time we used that big stack of tissue because I had left Maxi and you were about to leave Chee Keong.. and he was just happily snoring around without noticing these 2 aunties tearing away before him..

Haha.. come to think of it..now.. he'll know why..

And he'll now know how much you loved him.. how much he was wanted and how much he brightened and will still brighten you life.. the same way Maxi does mine..

Now both our babies can run.. and laugh and play.. only yours is in a different place but both are cared for and happy = )

eve said...

Came here from Mott's blog...Tears were welling up my eyes before I can even finish reading ...You have an extraordinary heart , full of compassion and love. Your parents are so proud of you. Time will wash away the pain surely..A Big HUG from me..

zorro said...

My Dear Daph, you have shouldered many burdens voluntarily. They may seemingly weigh you down emotionally but strong shoulders you will have for the future. Life goes on girl.But you have innocent Chee Keong up there looking out for you. Believe in that Daph. That should pull you through for the coming weeks. Take care.

Ru-V said...

hey girl,
i just read ur post today.I'm sorry about what happened.
The day you spoke about Chee Keong in our comm class.I was truly amazed and touched,both at Chee Keong's spirit to live and yours to keep him alive.I dunno much about you or your lil boy,but I noticed the twinkle in ur eye when you spoke about him.And felt a certain amount of joy myself.Your story moved me.
It must have been a true blessing being a mother to God's child.
I'm very sorry about your lost
but like you I believe Chee Keong is at a better place now and his suffering has ended.
You stay strong girl,your baby boy will always remain alive and special in your heart and the hearts of many others.
If you still need a hug, there's always one right here =)
May Chee Keong rest in peace...
-ruverny

Kak Teh said...

Oh Daphne, I promised you inmy email to you that I'd read your post - not knowing that i couldnt read it for the tears that's swelling in my eyes. Daphne, I have been there before - and i have fallen in love other people's babies and then they went neer to return. Be strong, Chee Keong is in a better place and he is no onger in pain., I know that this is all cliches...but what else can i say? Am hugging you from this 8000 miles away. Be strong.

Kit said...

i dont know what to say daphne

*hugs*

may chee keung rip

MJ said...

What a sad but real post.. Hope Chee Keong rests in peace, I'm sure he loved you as much as you loved him. *hugs*

netster said...

got to know yoru blog today, and it's a sad one too.

May Chee Keong rest in peace...

k0k s3n w4i said...

You are an angel. *Hugs*

WIELMAJA said...

My dearest Daphe,

You are an angel with a heart made of gold. I am sure your parents are mighty proud of you.

Last night I was at the wake of one of my best friends. He was 44 and robbed from this world by cancer. He had a bright future, a budding lawyer by profession; a lovely wife who is also a lawyer and two young kids.

May he and our dear little "snowman" rest in eternal peace.

A poem, author unknown for little "snowman":

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with,
the death of one small child.
Who does so much to make our world,
seem so wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold.
So He picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few.
To make the land of heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be Good-bye.

So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
Must realize God loves children.
ANGELS ARE HARD TO FIND!

Take care and god bless!

Anonymous said...

Dear Daphne,
Sorry for your loss.The little child who just left you is now in God's arms. God is holding him and singing comfort to him. The child is happy now.
With time,God will heal you.

Suresh

Cat said...

Dear Daphne

I am so sorry for the passing of Chee Keong. I cried reading this entry. Prayers to all the little boys in Heaven. Take care always.

Madeline K. said...

ooo daphne...felt so sad to hear bt baby chee keong too aite? he'll b looking over u k....love u lots....take care.....there....a BIG hug from me....call me up when ur bac in penang then i will run over n hug u ok?take care...

p/s:im still missing those good ol' days in brats...=)

-boed- said...

Daphne...
here is a BIG HUG from me, my wife and my 2-years old son...
be brave girl...

AOCY said...

daphne,
*HUGZ* from me...

Sofea said...

sofe said.......
Dear Daphne
Condolences. May Chee Keong rest in peace and may god bless you for your big heart.

Daphne Ling said...

Dear all,

I finally thought I'd come and reply all these comments, although I doubt anybody would be reading them =)...

Hi Amir,
To be honest, I have no idea what you just said *Blur*, but thanks for the support nonetheless =)

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Fusion16,
Thank you. Now I wished I had forced you to come meet CCK when he was alive...

Hi Kak Pi,
Aunty MarinaM asked me to call you if I need a nearer shoulder to cry! Haha...Come to think of it, I can lari to your house by foot also!

Hi Walkthrulife,
On behalf of my family, thank you for the warm wishes.

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Raden and JT,

Thank you for crying with me...And we all agree that it is the best thing for CCK...No more uncertainties in his fragile life...

When we think about it, there's no future for him, huh?

I would have loved to adopt him officially (in future), but there's always the factor that I might not be able to care for him the way he needs, and I don't know what my own future will hold...It's a real life-long commitment...

And now God has made the decision for him, which is the best...

PS: JT, thanks for listening to me anguish online too. Much appreciated *Hugs*

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Daily Nibbler,
Thank you for your condolences =)

Hi U.Lee,
"Rather find,
Strength in what remains behind
"
I am...now...
Thank you.

Hey Elviza,
*Hugs Hugs Hugs* back...Terima kasih sis...

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Atif,
Yes, it has been a while since we met or 'caught up'...I know CCK is in a better place...I guess you call it faith...Thanks for the wishes, and digital *Hugs* to you too...

Hey Anon 11.58 pm,
I pray he has become my angel too, because I know he will care for me the way I could never care for him...Thank you for your very kind words. They mean a lot =)

Hi Kak Ruby,
I guess God put me in the right place at the right time...Ever since I met CCK, I've asked myself "Why me?" a few million times, and till today, I have no answer, but I trust He has a plan...I just don't know yet what...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty MarinaM,

Until today, I ask why it had to be that day...Why of all days, it had to be when I was in your place. But I guess it was good, in a way...

If it had been the night before, it would have been worse, being with all the bloggers and all...And the fact that I was in KL meant that I could make that detour to see him...Going all the way from Ipoh would have been worse...

Thank you for sharing in Snowman's story, and once again, thank you for just being there...And for forcing me to swallow my breakfast =)

Big *Hugs* to you, Uncle T and ShaSha too...Send them my warmest regards!

Daphne Ling said...

Hey May,
Thank you and *Hugs* too...

Hi Mott,
I guess mothers will feel it the most huh? Thank you for sharing...

Hi Tham JK,
I hope CCK lives on through me; I hope that I can carry what I've learned from him in all that I do, now and always...Thank you for being there...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi WMD,
Ala, apa ni? Weapons of Mass Destruction? Thank you all the same for being here *Hugs*

Hey ShannonC,
Laughing at God's jokes huh? Such a privilege for God's chosen few...Thank you *hugs* and yes, I do feel better...

Hi NSTMan,
Thank you for the tears. I appreciate them, and I'm sure CCK does too, wherever he is...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Nadia,
Thank you *Hugs*...

Hey TheRazzler,
Thank you for your wonderfully kind words...I hope he watches over all of us too...Finger pointing downwards though this time! Many *Hugs* to you too...

Hey Anon 2.23pm (v9),
Thank you for your prayers, and I hope deaths won't harden me too...I'm honoured with you words, and I pray you get to experience what I have (not death, but the love and compassion part) experienced in your own life and journeys too =)

Anonymous said...

dear Daphne,

praise God that this world still hv such a kind person like you. Is not easy to handle the sadness when we lost somebody we love. But BB Chee Keong will peace in heaven with heart filled with your love.
May God heal your broken heart..

regards,
Emily

Daphne Ling said...

Ok and so I continue with replies:-

Hey Jimi,
You know, you're right...Chee Keong's story is a beautiful one as he has taught so many people to love and give, and yet, it does not match the pain he had to go through. Thanks for sharing that...=)

Hi Mob1900,
I hope I have...I really do hope I've given him the best. *Hugs* to you too ;)

Hi Ae Mi,
It's ok, you don't have to say anything. I know what you want me to know. Thanks for the sms's. *Hugs* dearie...

Daphne Ling said...

Hello Eve,
Thanks for the words of encouragement =) I cried all the way writing this post too. Thank you for sharing in the tears...*Hugs*

Hi Uncle Zorro,
I hope my shoulders have grown stronger and I sure hope he's watching over me now...Ironic huh? Thanks for being there during those horrible times...

Hey Ru-V,
I hoped to have shared Chee Keong's story to our class, as I hope to share his story to as many people as I meet...Even the people in the supermarkets (who sell baby clothes etc) know him, cos I'm the person who buys clothes for babies using my fingers as judgment of size ;) *Hugs* dearie...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Teh,
Thanks for reading, as you promised. A great big *hug* to you 8000 miles from here too...I guess death really does make us stronger huh?

Hey Kit,
Thanks dear, and hope all is well with you *Hugs*

Hi MJ,
Thank you very much. I don't know about him, but I sure love him ;)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Netster,
Thank you, but you know, my blog isn't always a sad one ;)

Hi K0k S3n W4i,
Thank you for the support and for posting Aisya's story. *Hugs*

Hi Wielmaja,
A belated condolences for the death of your friend. Belated condolences to his young family too. And thank you for sharing that poem; I felt much better after reading it =) *Hugs*

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Anon 10.06 pm (Suresh),
Thank you for sharing. It is the best place for Chee Keong, and I'm sure he is now happily snoring in God's arms ;)Hehe...

Hi Cat,
Yes, a prayer to all the little boys in heaven. Thank you very much.

Hi Madeline K,
Haha...Still missing BRATs huh? Thanks for the support dear...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Boed,
A big *Hug* to you, your wife and your 2-year-old son too. Thank you for the support =)

Hi AOCY,
*Hugs* to you too dear...

Hi Sofea,
Thank you, and seeing all these comments, I think he's resting in peace allright =)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Anon 11.53 am (Emily),
It's been a while since his death, but I still appreciate all the support that comes my way. Thank you for taking the time to tell me =) And yes, I believe God has healed this heart of mine *Hugs*

Eunice said...

This is the very first time i read your blog, and also the first time i read any blogs with tears.
Thank you for showing what's an unconditional love could be.
May Chee Keong rest in peace.

KY said...

May the little boy RIP.

Hugs

Anonymous said...

I find it incredible that the hospital could accommodate the child for so long and more incredible still that there is a welfare home that could care for such a special child. One would imagine if Chee Keong would have a better chance at survival if he had your care when he had the measles. In any case, it would have been a long shot given his weak constitution.

He should have been kept in a bubble. That would have help to shield him from viral infections. Succumbing to viral infections is why he slept so much. His immune system was simply overwhelmed and needs him to rest so it could keep fighting infections. I guess a bubble set up would have been too costly and the hospital does not have the funds for this case. Had his parents been well off, he may have a better chance at life.

Though too little to appreciate the hopelessness of his situation, he probably had the most comfortable life he possibly could have during his time at the hospital. Thanks to you. If I had been him, I would thank God for sending such an angel like you.

Tham Chee Keong said...

Your kindness & care for Chee Keong was unmatchable. The world needs urgently many more people like you - unselfishly giving & caring for the disabled & sick.

My heart & soul give you the BIGGEST hug ever!!!!

Cheers!
Tham Chee Keong

bebek said...

Dear Daphne,

What you have endured touched us very very much.... Chee Keong is in a much much much better place and in a much much better conditions above us.. He will forever be your darling, your litle boy, your angel...

Franc said...

Cried I did!
Love you did!

Illis said...

Hi Daphne,

I just came across your blog when I googled up 'malaysian students'. Then I came across this..Chee Keong.

You're a wonderful person I must say, Chee Keong was fortunate to have the opportunity to be loved by you.

Be strong and I am very sure..Chee Keong is taking a good care of you now from above.