Wednesday, 30 May 2007

R.I.P, Baby Adam...


Hi everyone,

As promised, I wrote a short note on Chee Keong's passing in StarMag on the 27th of March, Sunday...You can read the actual piece here...

You may also read the original story I wrote about Chee Keong in StarMag here and the subsequent story that followed when I had to say goodbye (when he left for the home) here...



R.I.P., baby Adam



DEAR the-rest-of-the-world,

I need a hug.

As I write this, my heart is full of sorrow. Adam*, the dear little boy I had given my heart to, is gone. And I never had the chance to say goodbye.

I met Adam in Ipoh Hospital's Paediatric Ward two years ago . He was born with Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy, and chromosomal abnormalities of unknown origin. It was because of this (and poverty) that led his parents to give him up when he was just a baby.

I met Adam when he was 16 months old, weighing a shocking 4 kg, and struggling to stay alive. For six months, I was his “foster” mother. I made his milk every morning, fed him, bathed him, cuddled him, massaged him, helped him exercise, and at times, scolded him!

I didn't realise it then, but the more time I spent with Adam, the more I grew to love him. When he left the hospital for a home for the handicapped, I was devastated. My best friend, Tan Yean Mei, who had met Adam a month earlier, too felt my loss.

For days later, I was like a zombie. After carrying Adam every morning for so long, I was at a loss because the child I had grown to love so much was no longer here with me. I missed his smile, his coo, his split-second laughter, his snoring and I sure missed his smell. I especially missed Adam when I went shopping. I would be holding a cute little jumper or toy in my hands, before I realised I had no baby to buy for anymore.

But I moved on as best as I could?.

Still, whenever I was in the area of the children's home, I would persuade my dad to make the 30km detour to see Adam, just to hold him for a few minutes.

And then on the morning of the May 20, I got a call that he had passed away from complications from measles at 8am. I was in Kuala Lumpur and, on the way home, my dad drove me for the last time to the hospital where Adam was warded frequently after he left Ipoh. This time, it was not a bed that we headed for, but the cold building no one ever wants to step into: The mortuary.

I saw my darling for the last time that Sunday at 4pm. He was wrapped in white cloth, and I got to touch him one last time. I had never seen him so peaceful. When he was alive, even in sleep, he was either snoring or gasping for air.

So I knew my darling had gone to a better place.

Although his parents could not care for him, I was touched to see Adam’s biological father coming to give him the proper funeral rites. So it was that my dear Adam was cremated on the afternoon of May 22 with his father by his side.

I “had” a baby at the age of 19 and I lost him at the age of 21. But what matter most now is that Adam is finally at peace, and he has gone home to God.

As a Baha’i, I believe that a special child like Adam has a very special station in the next world. That was the main thing that has consoled me, along with great support from family and friends.

Adam, it’s your turn to watch over me now, and I know you will....

*Name has been changed




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing that with us Daphne. I was wondering about that.

the Razzler said...

Daphne .. you have done all that you can do for Adam. I am sure he felt & appreciate your love & tender care during his short 'stint' in this world.

You have given him love that many others may never have the previledge to have had in their lifetime.

You had made his life wonderful!!