Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Update: Chee Keong: If Only I Could See The World Through Your Eyes...

Update: Dear All,

I think some of you think I am still a wreck, which I am not *Laughs*...Unlike a month ago, I have now come to terms with his death, and yes, I believe it is the best thing to ever happen to him...

And I am very sure he is now in peace...What else for such a special child? I share these little snippets of Chee Keong's life with all of you here, not because I still grieve for him...But I share these little snippets because I wish to share with all of you the little insights I was privilege enough to glimpse and learn from...

And really, the only part of my heart that is heavy, is the part that misses him...And I know I will always miss him, but I am happy...

***


In Loving Memory:-

Chua Chee Keong
17th August 2004-20th May 2007


What do those eyes see?



As I write today's post, my heart is a little heavy...

It is a little heavy, because tonight, exactly a month ago, my dear Chee Keong was admitted into the hospital for complication from measles, and tomorrow is exactly one month since he passed on...


But unlike a month ago, I am writing tonight's post with peace of mind...I am not the wreck I was a month ago; a wreck who trembled and sobbed uncontrollably...

I write tonight's post with the faith that dear Chee Keong is happy, and his spirit is very much with me...I write tonight's post with the faith that he is in a better place...

My heart is a little heavy, but only because I miss him...


In memory of his first-month anniversary, let me share this short story with you:-


The day that I carried Chee Keong down to wait for the Pajero to the home, I saw something...

Tired out from the packing and re-packing and then lugging things down, and carrying a baby at the same time, I sat down on the curb to take a quick breather...


Chee Keong was snoring as usual, but for some reason he woke up...


And among the first things he saw was...grass...

Ordinary, freshly mowed, grass...


It was just a glance of a few seconds...And then, he looked straight at me and said "Oooo...", with his finger in the air...

And it was that time that I looked at him, and I was momentarily dumbstruck...We always pitied him because of the pain he has to go through: physically, mentally, and emotionally...But really, who should be pitying who?


Because that day, as I looked into his eyes, I realised how much we had all grown...And how much, in the process of growing up, have we lost our inherent innocence...And how much we have forgotten to live...We have forgotten to look at the beauty of so many things, to just revel in nature's beauty...

I picked up a blade of grass, and put the tiny blade in between his crooked and stiff fingers...He lifted his arm, looked at the tiny blade of grass between his fingers, and he coo'ed again: "Oooo", and then he looked at me...


Here was a boy who had never really seen grass before...

He was discovering grass for the first time...


And he was telling me how beautiful it was...


My Darling Chee Keong, if only I could be blessed enough to look at the world through your eyes. If only I could see the grass as you see them, how much better this world will be...

In fact, if only the whole world could see the world through your eyes, and the eyes of all the special children in the world, then maybe, just maybe, this world would be a better place to live in...


Take care, my dear...

*Hugs*


35 comments:

zewt said...

indeed he will see grass. may he has the rest he so deserves :)

sankochan said...

daphne... our feeling together at this time is very WELI different...

I see grass... normal ah... means I over grown already

J.T. said...

Seeing the world through the eyes of an innocent must be fascinating. Everything is new and beautiful. Things to be discovered.

May Chee Keong rest in peace. He sits in the loving arms of God now.

Mat Salo said...

Daphne.. No you can't see the world through his eyes.. for his is special, and he's gone on to a special and better place. And I have no doubt he misses you too as you miss him...

mott said...

Ah..even a tiniest lil pebble is a great source of fascination.

for me, it has been the frontload washing machine. Since I was a bub, till now.

I need to grow up eh?

Do you remember what your's is?

Anonymous said...

What a cute little boy! I just read the post of Chee Keong a month ago. Thanks for sharing these beautiful stories. Yes if we all saw the world through eyes like Chee Keong, this world will be very beautiful. In fact I believe that this world is already beautiful with special people like you Daphne. But it can be better.

Anonymous said...

Wow that was nice and touching story including the one related to this. at least Malaysia's still got people like you. Well, at least he's got the peace of mind and may his spirit be filled with more wonders in heaven. He reminds me of how I wish to grow young again. I surely missed those innocent years.

You kind of made a name for yourself. I think I've seen your name in some donation drive in the star paper.

Kudos, for a thought-provoking article!

Anonymous said...

take care. I cannot offer much but if you do have time, kindly visit www.clearwisdom.net.

Sincerely hope it will help.

Daphne said...

I can't believe I am saying this, but that was a really nice post. It was touching.

By the way, I am Daphne too.

jam said...

Daphne Ling, may I say something to the other Daphne?

Daphne, why did you say that you cannot believe you are saying that it was a really nice post. Were you expecting to find fault with it? And now that you haven't, you can't. :)

Jaded said...

beautiful... your posts always inspire.

he's at peace now. may you find peace as well. this time he'll be the one looking down on u :)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Zewt,
Nice to have you back...Yes, dear Chee Keong will see all the grass he wants to, and the rest too =)

Daphne Ling said...

Sankochan,
It's ok if you've grown...So have I...

JT,
That's why they call children like Chee Keong special...Because they really are...Who else can see things with such pureness of heart?

Daphne Ling said...

MatSalo,
Thanks for coming over, great to have you over. Yes, I agree...The privilege of being special is reserved for God's chosen ones, and I'm not one of them. But I am blessed to be able to share the life of that special little child...=)

Daphne Ling said...

Mott,
Haha...You are hilarious...
Hmmm...I've always been very fascinated by many things, clouds being one...But no, I can't put my finger on just one thing...;)

Daphne Ling said...

Anon 10.52 am, Anon 1.17 pm,
Thanks for the kind words *Blushes*...Yes, he was a cute little boy, and a very special one too *Hugs*...Thank you for sharing in his story!

Anon 1.20 pm,
Thank you for the link. I will check it out =)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Daphne (ok, how weird is that?),
Thanks for being so nice then!

Hi Jam,
Haha...You're just funny...

Daphne Ling said...

Oh Jam,
Thanks!

Hi Jaded,
Nice having you here. Yes, I trust little stupid boy is watching down on me now...Chee Keong, you keep me and my loved ones safe, ok? =) *Hugs*

U.Lee said...

Hi Daphne, because of Chee Keong, you one day will be a great mom to your kids and nobody can ask for more.
You will always have him in you...he will always be with you.
Keep well Daphne, UL.

elviza said...

My dear sister,

Here's for you *hug hug hug...big bear hug*

Kak Teh said...

daphne dear, he is in a better world. It helps to think that way. Take care.

ruby ahmad said...

Hi Daphne,

Chee Keong is safe in heaven. The short time he was here on earth you made his stay heaven. As for the grass, I think through his eyes, grass was gold. You keep well sweety.

jimi said...

moga dia abadi dan tenang, daph

nstman said...

I see the beauty of chee keong's eyes. I see the innocence. I see the love. For you everything is beautiful. Goodbye Chee Keong. You have left a cruel heartless world. You have left a world that has gone crazy. You have left a world ravaged by hatred. You have left a world that has gone mad. Your suffering has ended. You are now free. Goodbye Chee Keong.

Daphne Ling said...

Dear Uncle Lee,
Thanks! I hope to be a great mum, but I don't know if I'll ever be really ready for it...But then again, I guess no one is ever really ready, huh?
Thanks for dropping by! ;)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Elviza,
*Hugs hugs hugs...Big bear hug* back...Hehe...;)

Kak Teh,
Nice to have you back! It's been a long time...
Yes, it sure helps to think of him as being in a better place...Thanks for coming back!

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Ruby,
Yes, Chee Keong's eyes are gold...He was definitely worth his weight (and more!) in gold...You take care too Aunty Ruby!

Hi Jimi,
Ya, semoga Chee Keong abadi dan tenang =)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi NSTman,
Long time no see ;)Thank you for seeing the beauty in Chee Keong's eyes...And yes, he is now free...See ya round!

zorro said...

God put Chee Keong under your care. Not earth-shattering but he ooooed over a blade of grass. We all take for granted that it is just a blade of grass but failed to see the wonder that goes into the composition of that single blade; why has it got to be green; why is grass shaped that way; if nourished what is its life-span....I began to ask myself after your bit on chee keong and the grass.

JJzai said...

He is cute,
guess u are proud of him,
and he is proud of u too.

CRIZ LAI said...

I just dropped by from the Penang Bloggers' list and I saw this article you wrote about your adopted "son". I read your previous article dated 19th May word for word to find out more of what had happened to him as well.

I was touched by your actions to be with him when he was alive. No human whom I have known ever sacrificed so much for someone who's not even his/her flesh and blood. You did it and I am happy that you did that to make his remaining days happy.

Two years is a long time for your effort, support and commitment towards such a fragile boy. I guessed the attachments towards him was unbearable when he passed away.

I am sure that inside you now, you still feel that you could have done more for him to lengthen his life on earth. You did your best and there's nothing more you can do now. He's now in the gentle hands of God.

With the love and compassion in you, I am sure that your future will be bright. Chee Keong will sure be your angel to see you go through life in a wonderful way.

I am glad to know there are still people like you in this world, people who care for a life no matter how small they could be. You are a guardian angel :)

My sincere condolences to you on the passing away of Chee Keong. Life has still got to go on after this.

Stay Happy...Be Happy...Remain Happy Always! :)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Zorro,
Thanks for stopping to see the beauty in the grass after reading this post. I think Chee Keong would have been happy he got a few people thinking ;)

Daphne Ling said...

Hey JJzai,
Thanks for visiting. Yes I am very proud of him...

Daphne Ling said...

Dear Criz Lai,
Thank you very much for your lovely comment! It was very touching, and it means a lot to me...
And yes, I often feel like I could have done so much more for him...But I know that deep down, I have done my best, and there wasn't really much more for me to do...
Thanks for visiting...=)

Nightwing said...

Hello, From what you have been through with baby Chee Keong, i am sure from the experience, you will become a great mom one day.

And thanks to technology, you can even share the stories from this blog to your children. This blog is like the living journal of your life.

Thanks for sharing.