Sunday, 5 August 2007

Sex 101: Why?...





I am doing a course in Cultural Anthropology this semester, and among the topics we study is about 'Sex and Gender', to which many questions were asked, and many issues arose...

The first question that struck me is, well, why do humans have sex (No, this is not a 'blue' post)? Is it driven more by needing to satisfy innate pleasures, or are we driven by the desire to procreate, pass on our genes, and continue the human-race's civilisation?


After many online chats with quite a few friends (Bloggers and non-Bloggers alike), many agree that it is a combination of both, which drive people to have intercourse...



But really, which precipitates which?

The Bible calls on humans to "be fruitful, multiply and fill the Earth" (Gn.1:28);

The Holy Quran says that "He is the Creator of the heavens and the each. He has given you partners from among yourselves and, similarly, made the cattle also males and females. That is how he multiplies you" (43:11);

In The Baha'i Kitab-i-Aqdas, it is said: "Enter into wedlock, O People, that he may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid My servants" (K 63).



Religiously speaking, I believe all religions believe in the same thing: Sex is viewed as 'sinful' without the holy matrimony of marriage...

This kinda makes it sound as if (I don't know, just a thought) that sex is meant for procreation first, and pleasure second...And of course, unmarried people should just stay clear of both lar...



And another question that I have been asking when reading this chapter is, if someone asks to sleep with you (Ah, please don't read as this refering to anyone in particular; the question is purely theoretical), is that a compliment, or an insult? It can be interpreted both ways, no? It can be a compliment in the sense, that person finds you attractive, and yet, an insult because it might mean you look an 'easy' person to take to bed...




But if the argument is that sex is first to procreate, and then only comes pleasure, it is a compliment, because it means that a person has found you to be the perfect person to pass on his/her genes...



So yeah, as I read this chapter, more questions arise, than they get answered...


34 comments:

Wattahack? said...

marriage is a system set by humans to control humans.... did adam marry eve before they had sex? if they did who gave them the registration form and who was the pastor to bless them? who made her bridal gown and adam's tux? hehehehe... anyway its good to have a system to control animals more so humans.... that's why GOD gave us Contraceptive!

winniethepooh said...

On the wedding nite, when sharing that wonderful moment..i dont think precreation was on the top of the mind ^-^

winniethepooh said...

opps, sorry i mean pro-creation not pre-creation!! hehehe

sankochan said...

erm.... Ooo...

I'm innocent... I dono...

Wat dat?? *^.^*

Jo-D said...

Daph,
I think the REAL thing that makes people want to have sex is to procreate. It is a natural instinct. But because we don't always think about procreation, we mistake it for NEED to have pleasure. Now I am just as confuse as you >_<

IBU said...

Dear Daphne,

Thanks for the missing person alert.

On SEX 101, I'm glad you found out that as you go through the chapter, you now have more questions than answers! There will be more things to discover in understanding the question alone. And life's like that, no ready made answer for all questions.

If you found some, share with us!

Cheers!

the Razzler said...

Dear Daphne..

Sex is rather sacred for me ...

There must be true feelings between both of you before it can even happens .. :) :)

Evil Steve O' misunderstood said...

hello aunty,

i think i have a rather cynical take on this matter. That the only reason why we procreate and reproduce is because God made sex pleasurable.
think about it. if it wasnt for pleasure, no one would hv sex for the sake of passing on the genes.

why would we when the next few years will be filled with sleep depravation, night feeding, a money drain, liability, having to carry that little you all 10 kilos of it by the time its 1 yr old, lose whatever social life that u once had, diapers change, milk that cost more than a buffet lunch at a 5 star restaunrant, cleaning spit and vomit, paeditricians that are out to suck yr blood, baby toys, etc etc etc..

:P

WP said...

A question that popped into my head while reading that was: did religion or matrimony come first? 'Cos I'm pretty sure procreation existed before matrimony did! (think cavemen...lol)

As for that last question...depends on how he asks? ;P

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i think an asexual person may find this question a dead give-away...no? hihi...

mott said...

hi DL,

Firstly, thanks for putting my link up. I have no idea why you did it..since my mutterings..are just that. Mutterings.

Anyway, I just wish for once, men could do all the pregnancy bit. FOR ONCE..... Be in AGONY FOR 10 months! Try having sex then!

HAH!

Anonymous said...

Interesting post. So much that I felt I really needed to say something. If sex was meant to be pleasure first and pleasure second then only procreation, then sex should be recommended to everyone whether or not they are married. Because when people happy they do btter in life! So sex should be written in the religious books as a MUST for everyone. I am sure God wants his poeple to be happy! So of course procreation is the thing which comes first! Thats why God said must marry first!

tokasid said...

It depends. For the newly married its the pleasure that comes to mind. After a few months they'll say: its baby-making time sayang.

For the unwed or those who practice pre-marital sex, its purely for pleasure. Don't think its for procreation.Thats why we see lots of newborn left here and there.

But from religion poit of view: its for procreation.The pleasure is the reward.

nstman said...

No sex please, I am a Malaysian.

Pi Bani said...

Off topic: This is an update on the "missing person" pic you placed on your side bar...

Salhi has been found alive and well!

zorro said...

Daphe....on the lighter side. I had a colleague who had three kids. After the first child's name were the letters NC meaning he was the resuot of Natural Curiosity; after the second was the letters MC. The second child was the result of Mutual Consent. The third child had the letters BC. A result of Bloody Carelessness.

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Wattahack?,

Hmmm...If marriage is a system set by humans, then why is it mentioned in holy books? Unless your argument is that the books were written by humans too...But then again, you're right about the whole Adam and Eve and their tux/bridal clothes! Hehehe...

Daphne Ling said...

Haha Winnie,
Yep, I doubt people think about procreation on the first night...More like: Ah, finally...

;P

Hmmm Sankochan,
And you expect me to believe you, O-Thou-Dirty-of-the-Dirty?

;P *Winks*

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Jo-D,
Sorry for confusing ya! But yeah, I get your drift, and I actually agree with you...

Hi Ibu,
I'm glad that Salhi was found safe, sound and alive...
And yes, more and more questions are popping up, the more things I read. There are so many books and so much information out there, and really, I wonder who is right? I think I've suceeded in confusing my mom too! Haha!

Daphne Ling said...

Hi The Razzler,

Sacred it is to me too! *Grins*

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Grandpa *Neh Neh* Steve O' Misunderstood,

Hmmm...Did you know that the only animal (besides human ler) that has sex for pleasure and procreation is the dolphin? All other animals do it solely to reproduce...

So maybe (I don't know...Speculating) for humans, procreation came first, and pleasure is the bonus!

Anyway, with regards to all the 'bad' things about having babies, I'm sure when you hold baby Marissa at night and cuddle her to sleep, all those diaper-changing, vomit, pediatrician fees, milk money et al, become worth it all huh?

And I'm willing to bet you wouldn't change anything for all the money in the world, and all the freedom (and social life!) you had before ;)...

Right?

Daphne Ling said...

Hi WP,

I have no idea which came first...

And the more I see it, the more this is all sounding like the whole "Which came first? The Chicken or the Egg?" debate!

Hahaha...

Which means, we ain't getting an answer any time soon...

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Kerp,
Good point...Makes life easier, when there's less options huh?

Hi Mott,
I like Mutterings...Cos I'm real good at them too *Wink*! And yes, if only men could get pregnant (can share the load huh?)...But then again, maybe that's what makes a woman special...=)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Anon 8.05 pm,

Makes sense...But I guess it depends on how you see it...Arguable both ways...But I'm beginning to believe that it's procreation first, and pleasure second...Just that humans have terbalik'ed it...Hehe...

Hi Tokasid,

You're right about the baby-dumping, as much as I wish I could disagree with you wholeheartedly...

As for "pleasure is the reward", I kinda (I don't really know lar) think so too...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi NSTman,

Aiya, macam ni, how did you come about? *Wink*

Hi Kak Pi,

Thank God Salhi has been found safe, sound and alive! Thanks for the note...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Uncle Zorro,

Wah...Sounds more like some witty joke straight off from the Net! Cool though...Hehe...

How's the waiting for Bernie, Ryan and Patrick coming along? Soon they'll all be here, your Three Musketeers...

Sunflower said...

Apparently there was a recent study done by psychologists at the University of Texas on this very topic. They identified "237 distinct reasons why people have sex"...

http://tinyurl.com/yqv42q

Steve O Dazed&confused said...

aunty deph,

u read me like the back of yr hand.
yea, shes daddy's girl. i think that old wife's tale is true, tht girls will be closer to daddy.

its to the extent where wifey has to put my used tshirt next to marissa, when im outstation 4 work, as she can only sleep if she has my smell close to her. That i cant comprehend, cos i stink.

kesian my wife la aunty..she carried her for the whole 9 months..but wht to do..hehe

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Sunflower,
Thanks for the link. Will check it out!

Hey Steve O Dazed & Confused,
Haha...I'm a psychology student...Supposed to 'read' people...About girls being closer to their daddies (maybe girls are closer than boys to their daddies?), not necessary...Although I'm real close to my dad, it's still mum I'm closer to...

nstman said...

Hi, young psychologist ... I came from parts unknown.

Sharkman said...

is there a practical for this subject?

Daphne Ling said...

Haha NSTman, You're a hoot, that's what you are!

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Sharkman,

No, thank God! ;)

zorro said...

Daph, not from the Net....from the mare's mouth and she is 82 year old Mrs Yvonne Holmes, a former colleague and now residing in Perth. Thats what she told me about her three kids.

3 days to D-Day when my 3 musketeers arrive.