Thursday, 22 October 2009

"I Promise I Won't Bug You Anymore"...


I am taking a course in Psychology of Intimate Relationships this term, and in it, we study the aspects of all forms of relationships, from close friendships, sexual relationships, to casual friendships that we encounter on the street. And I must say, it is perhaps one of the most interesting courses I have taken.


One thing which I found fascinating was the study of emotion and body language, which humans are said to be able to read very well. You know what Custom Officials study when deciding who to question and search at the airport? Body language, of course!



Which brings me to this post...

I was at the hospital today, and while bringing blankets to one particular old lady who was using her puffer, she remarked jokingly that "man, breathing is such a chore", to which I said "oh, put on your big girl panties and suck it up", to which we both burst out laughing...




It was a good idea to put a smile on her face, but a pretty bad one because she needed another three puffs after that!

She was smilling and thanking me for the warm blankets and after every request (which she thanked me profusely for), she would say "I promise I won't bug you anymore"...



And it was while I was filling the fridge, which was near her room, that I heard her crying in pain. That poor old dear was going through chemotherapy and was writhing in pain but she didn't want to bug anyone, not even her own nurse, which is one very sweet young thing. And I knew they had just given her painkillers when I brought her the blankets, but they were obviously not working.

And so I felt sorry for her and slipped in and sat with her for a while, and asked if she wanted me to sit with her till she fell asleep. It WAS part of my job after all, to keep patients company!



And you know what, she said "no, it's fine, but thank you so much, could you please lower my bed, I promise I won't bug you anymore"...

Ok, I know she said she didn't want me there, but Body Language 101 said otherwise...



I slipped my hand into hers and she grabbed mine back instantly, and this time, she said, "Thank You for sitting with me"...



Darn!

That $120 textbook was right! We read body language better than we know it. We just gotta trust our instincts better. I wonder how many times I've walked pass an old person who really wanted someone to sit with them but thought they were a burden, and I didn't trust my instincts, and instead spent my time doing other stuff?




14 comments:

Pak Zawi said...

Daph,
Great post. I was touched.
It's a good study that you are doing about relationships. Doing it in Canada is even better as I think most people are open minded and will open up to you easily even on the most intimate of subjects (my assumption)It maybe difficult to do such a thing in Malaysia.
Pak Zawi wish you success.

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Pak Zawi,

Hey, long time no see!

Hmmmm...Interesting...

We're all social animals by nature and yet, different cultures permit and encourage different things! Interesting!

Thanks for the wishes for success, Pak Zawi...Much appreciated, and wished in return!

whre4arthou said...

Aww.. that's touching nai..

I was beginning to wonder if I was bugging the old lady I visit every week because each time I go to her house I would sit for more than 2 hours and chat..

But while I was away apparently she asked about me and asked when I would be back to sit and chat with her again.

It's nice to know that she enjoys the time with me as much as I do with her..

Take care nai..and lots of huggies too!

the Razzler said...

Dear Daphne..

It's a blessing to even know you and for those who have met you, a dream come true!

I think the old lady is truly blessed to be touched by an Angel! :)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Ae Mi,

Awww...You're sitting with an old lady every week...If I ever come see you, you gotta introduce me to her!

You keep up the good work, dear. I'm sure she enjoys the company and time you spend with her.

*Hugs*

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Uncle Jimmy,

Awww, you're always so sweet. I'm glad our paths crossed too! Maybe someday we will finally get to meet, lol...;)

And our tummies will be happy too, teehee...

Take care, now!

atifita said...

This post was very sweet, made me smile :) It's strange reading your blog there's always one encounter or another with some very interesting characters, or perhaps it's just in you to notice things, but hehe this post is still making me smile five minutes after having finished reading it :) :) :)

Nightwing said...

Thanks for sharing this post. Keep up the good work...:)

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Atif,

Long time no see! Lol...That's what my cousin said too!

I think our personalities attract certain kinds of people to approach/open up to us. Or maybe our personalities make us more aware of certain kinds of struggles.

Either way, whatever works, right?

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Nightwing,

Thanks for reading it! And welcome back to blogosphere after a period of absence...;)

Anonymous said...

Heloo Daph
I enjoy reading yr blog. Things you have done / do makes me feel so small. My 'tadbit' to you. I'm sure even more lives will be touched. Thank you Daph. Take care and all the best to you.

Daphne Ling said...

Hello Anon 8:32,

Thank you for coming by and leaving a note. And thanks for your well-wishes too. I wish you the same in return! =) All the best...

Nika said...

Hey Daphne,
We see each other so little, i have to enter virtual world to talk to you!
This was a beautiful story, and made me smile.

Nika said...

Hey Daphne,
We see each other so little, i have to enter virtual world to talk to you!
This was a beautiful story, and made me smile.